How Not To Get Hired When Given A 50 Question Interview
From this perfect world post, I'll be giving my take on these questions.
A basic guide as to how not to get hired when given a 50 point questionaire.
1. Tell me about yourself.
Didn't I just hand over my Resume?
2. Why did you leave your last job?
I didn't leave, they just kicked my ass.
3. What experience do you have in this field?
No experience yet in the field. Maybe someday when I am old Ill buy a farm.
4. Do you consider yourself successful?
Define successful.
5. What do co-workers say about you?
"You suck, you have to apply to that company (your interviewer's company)."
6. What do you know about this organization?
Nothing really, I just saw you ad in the Manila Bulletin looking for guys like me.
7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?
I enrolled in one of Ricky Reyes' schools.
8. Are you applying for other jobs?
Of course yes. You should know this by now.
9. Why do you want to work for this organization?
Ahhm, salary?
10. Do you know anyone who works for us?
No.
11. What kind of salary do you need?
What are the types of salary?
12. Are you a team player?
Nope, but I am a player.
13. How long would you expect to work for us if hired?
As long as you want but preferably as long as I want.
14. Have you ever had to fire anyone? How did you feel about that?
Firing like in job, not yet. But fire up someone, a lot!
15. What is your philosophy towards work?
Do your best and collect your salary every 15 days.
16. If you had enough money to retire right now, would you?
No. I’ll buy out this company and interview you for re-hiring.
17. Have you ever been asked to leave a position?
Yes. By a girl. She was tired. Of me.
18. Explain how you would be an asset to this organization
By not being a liability.
19. Why should we hire you?
Man, it's your job to know.
20. Tell me about a suggestion you have made.
I suggested to our HR Dept last time to scrap the HR interview altogether and let me be interviewed by my future boss.
21. What irritates you about co-workers?
Those who ask a lot of questions.
22. What is your greatest strength?
My lower body strength.
23. Tell me about your dream job.
My dream job happens to be your job.
24. Why do you think you would do well at this job?
Who told you that I think I would do well at this job?
25. What are you looking for in a job?
See answer # 23
26. What kind of person would you refuse to work with?
Those who ask a lot of questions.
27. What is more important to you: the money or the work?
Money, by a mile.
28. What would your previous supervisor say your strongest point is?
Me, being a quick learner. In fact, I'll only learn the job as we go thru it.
29. Tell me about a problem you had with a supervisor.
I haven’t had any problem with my supervisor. Usually, it’s the other way around.
30. What has disappointed you about a job?
The fact that I have to answer 50 questions to get a job.
31. Tell me about your ability to work under pressure.
Ahhm, I use to work at a pressure cooker plant. If that would help.
32. Do your skills match this job or another job more closely?
My skill fits all.
33. What motivates you to do your best on the job?
Money. Show me the money.
34. Are you willing to work overtime? Nights? Weekends?
Yes, but under time is preferred.
35. How would you know you were successful on this job?
As soon as I get your job.
36. Would you be willing to relocate if required?
Where?
37. Are you willing to put the interests of the organization ahead ofyour own?
Per annum? Compounded monthly?
38. Describe your management style.
I managed some stylists before.
39. What have you learned from mistakes on the job?
I learned that learning while on the job part of the learning process.
40. Do you have any blind spots?
Yes, at my back.
41. If you were hiring a person for this job, what would you look for?
Definitely someone like me. A clone, perhaps.
42. Do you think you are overqualified for this position?
Super.
43. How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?
Ill be on my knees, with candle light and ill say to you... "Will you hire me?"
44. What qualities do you look for in a boss?
Non-bossy boss.
45. Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a dispute betweenothers.
One time, 2 engineers were arguing so much, I gave both P150 ticket per session tickets at Elorde Boxing Complex, they slug it out and settled it all there. Sigh, am I a peace maker or what? The other one had turned pro last year.
46. What position do you prefer on a team working on a project?
Power forward.
47. Describe your work ethic.
Superb.
48. What has been your biggest professional disappointment?
Doing a 50 point interview just to get a job.
49. Tell me about the most fun you have had on the job.
Oh one time, my co worker blew me away. She's fun. That's it.
50. Do you have any questions for me?
Yes. Do you have further questions?
A basic guide as to how not to get hired when given a 50 point questionaire.
1. Tell me about yourself.
Didn't I just hand over my Resume?
2. Why did you leave your last job?
I didn't leave, they just kicked my ass.
3. What experience do you have in this field?
No experience yet in the field. Maybe someday when I am old Ill buy a farm.
4. Do you consider yourself successful?
Define successful.
5. What do co-workers say about you?
"You suck, you have to apply to that company (your interviewer's company)."
6. What do you know about this organization?
Nothing really, I just saw you ad in the Manila Bulletin looking for guys like me.
7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?
I enrolled in one of Ricky Reyes' schools.
8. Are you applying for other jobs?
Of course yes. You should know this by now.
9. Why do you want to work for this organization?
Ahhm, salary?
10. Do you know anyone who works for us?
No.
11. What kind of salary do you need?
What are the types of salary?
12. Are you a team player?
Nope, but I am a player.
13. How long would you expect to work for us if hired?
As long as you want but preferably as long as I want.
14. Have you ever had to fire anyone? How did you feel about that?
Firing like in job, not yet. But fire up someone, a lot!
15. What is your philosophy towards work?
Do your best and collect your salary every 15 days.
16. If you had enough money to retire right now, would you?
No. I’ll buy out this company and interview you for re-hiring.
17. Have you ever been asked to leave a position?
Yes. By a girl. She was tired. Of me.
18. Explain how you would be an asset to this organization
By not being a liability.
19. Why should we hire you?
Man, it's your job to know.
20. Tell me about a suggestion you have made.
I suggested to our HR Dept last time to scrap the HR interview altogether and let me be interviewed by my future boss.
21. What irritates you about co-workers?
Those who ask a lot of questions.
22. What is your greatest strength?
My lower body strength.
23. Tell me about your dream job.
My dream job happens to be your job.
24. Why do you think you would do well at this job?
Who told you that I think I would do well at this job?
25. What are you looking for in a job?
See answer # 23
26. What kind of person would you refuse to work with?
Those who ask a lot of questions.
27. What is more important to you: the money or the work?
Money, by a mile.
28. What would your previous supervisor say your strongest point is?
Me, being a quick learner. In fact, I'll only learn the job as we go thru it.
29. Tell me about a problem you had with a supervisor.
I haven’t had any problem with my supervisor. Usually, it’s the other way around.
30. What has disappointed you about a job?
The fact that I have to answer 50 questions to get a job.
31. Tell me about your ability to work under pressure.
Ahhm, I use to work at a pressure cooker plant. If that would help.
32. Do your skills match this job or another job more closely?
My skill fits all.
33. What motivates you to do your best on the job?
Money. Show me the money.
34. Are you willing to work overtime? Nights? Weekends?
Yes, but under time is preferred.
35. How would you know you were successful on this job?
As soon as I get your job.
36. Would you be willing to relocate if required?
Where?
37. Are you willing to put the interests of the organization ahead ofyour own?
Per annum? Compounded monthly?
38. Describe your management style.
I managed some stylists before.
39. What have you learned from mistakes on the job?
I learned that learning while on the job part of the learning process.
40. Do you have any blind spots?
Yes, at my back.
41. If you were hiring a person for this job, what would you look for?
Definitely someone like me. A clone, perhaps.
42. Do you think you are overqualified for this position?
Super.
43. How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?
Ill be on my knees, with candle light and ill say to you... "Will you hire me?"
44. What qualities do you look for in a boss?
Non-bossy boss.
45. Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a dispute betweenothers.
One time, 2 engineers were arguing so much, I gave both P150 ticket per session tickets at Elorde Boxing Complex, they slug it out and settled it all there. Sigh, am I a peace maker or what? The other one had turned pro last year.
46. What position do you prefer on a team working on a project?
Power forward.
47. Describe your work ethic.
Superb.
48. What has been your biggest professional disappointment?
Doing a 50 point interview just to get a job.
49. Tell me about the most fun you have had on the job.
Oh one time, my co worker blew me away. She's fun. That's it.
50. Do you have any questions for me?
Yes. Do you have further questions?
posted by GoldenSlumber at 11:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home